Irreverent Mama

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Bekah reads "Brain, Child" and complains, "There's an article here that says that middle school is all pain and suffering. Hmph. I liked school last year."

"Grade seven is a tough year for a lot of people, sweetie. I wonder if you were able to enjoy it because you have self-confidence, especially socially. If you were trying to make it to the top of the social heirarchy, up there with the 'popular' girls, Chloe and Valerie, you might have been miserable all year."

"Well, I don't want to be at the bottom!"

"No, of course not. And you're not! They don't pick on you, do they?"

"No, they mostly ignore me."

"Probably because you don't try to make them like you."

"I have friends I like and trust. You can't trust those two. Actually, Valerie came over one day and asked if I'd like to eat lunch with them, and the girls at my table were all 'Oh, wow! Valerie invited you!!'"

"So what did you do?"

"I said 'no, thanks, I'm sitting with my friends right now'. She went off all put out, because nobody says 'No' to them! I don't think they could actually believe it had happened!"

Bekah pauses, unable to speak over my laughter. "They like to do that. Invite someone in for a week or two, then spit them out. Then that person is really at the bottom!" She muses for a minute. "I just don't know how people like that end up popular, mom! Why do the kids give them that kind of power?"

Me, I'm left wondering how I ended up with such a wise, wise child. "Give them that power", she says. She sees that it is given, not earned nor deserved, merely given. No one will have that kind of power over my Bekah, because she sees this stuff so clearly. She doesn't buy into the system mindlessly. She thinks about it - and strives only for what she can see is good for her.

I am so fucking proud of her!

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  • And *that's* why middle school will never be pain and misery and angst for her. I only hope that Sophie has Becca's wisdom when she's that age. I certainly didn't, and it made me MISERABLE.

    Now, though, fuck 'em all! :-)

    By Blogger Candace, at 1:20 p.m.  

  • I spent my middle school years in a state of low-level anxiety. I knew I didn't quite fit in but wasn't sure why. I was forever wondering when the next round of mocking laughter would happen - not that it happened frequently, but it bewildered me because I just didn't *get* it. I didn't have Becca's clear-sighted view of the power lines and behaviour patterns in her class. I would have been much happier if I had! She impresses me so much.

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 6:32 p.m.  

  • Oh MAN, I NEED to print this out, for when mine are in middle school mine are to be grade 4 and SK.
    Your daughter is wise beyond her years...probably much thanks to her parenting! Anne

    By Blogger crazymumma, at 12:03 a.m.  

  • ah, good for her! Not really caring about the games is the only way they don't affect you. It was nice that in middle school, I went to a tiny alternative school where there was really very little of that, but even in high school, I was more of a one or two close friends kind of kid - too shy to worry about the rest, and so high school was neither miserable, nor the high point, it just was.

    She'll do just fine, that one.

    By Blogger kittenpie, at 3:10 p.m.  

  • You should be proud. Go Becca!

    By Blogger tania (urban_mommy), at 4:10 p.m.  

  • I am in complete awe of Becca. Any chance you can make her available in about 10 years to tutor Maya on the ins and outs of middle school hell?

    By Blogger Alli, at 11:43 p.m.  

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