Irreverent Mama

Friday, September 22, 2006

The child support saga continues...

So I trot down to the bank Friday, to try, once again, to cash my support cheque for September. It wouldn't clear on the first. You'll remember that I got no support in May, a cheque in June, not in July, yes for August. So, every other month since May.

I present it to the teller, having been careful to choose the kindly, chatty woman who is consistently the most sympathetic. She knows me - I'm in there every month, aren't I? I play nice, telling her that I'm hoping that it's only disorganization on his part, not deliberate. I figure if I come across as an angry harridan, I'll be less successful in my mission, which is to prise some information from her. Like, for example, has he put a fucking hold on it again?

She takes the cheque, scans it, and then her eyes dart around her computer screen. "No, no I can't cash it for you." She lowers her voice. "It's not even close."

"Oh, dear." says me. "I hope he hasn't put a hold on it like before."

"No," she says, a bit distracted as she points and clicks. "No, I'd see that if it were. Let me just..." I don't think, in her distraction, she's even noticed she just told me something she shouldn't. More pointing and clicking. Her eyes widen. "Oh! Oh, my." She looks at me, uncertain, obviously wanting to say something, but prohibited by Bank Policy from doing so. I sit and widen my eyes, trying to project the appearance of a woman who's alarmed, trying to be brave, and sweetly hopeful. 'Help me', my big brown eyes plead. I daren't ask directly, and provoke the Policy Response. I'm close to a disclosure, I know it, and I don't want to frighten her off.

I wait.

"Well. I can say that it will be quite a while before you get any money out of him."

I widen my eyes still further, aiming for tremulous pathos.

"Oh, I wish I could tell you."

I wait.

She glances left, then right, leans towards me and lowers her voice. "HE can't even get his money. He's in Big Trouble." She sits back.

"Well, I can't say that surprises me," I say, with stoicism (this quite sincere). "He's always been terrible with money."

We had a little more general conversation thereafter, then I gathered up the kids and left. Shameful to have manipulated such a nice woman so deliberately, but I needed to know, and now I do. He's had his assets frozen.

I called up Zoe (my eldest, away at university, to whom I send a monthly cheque for her share of the child support) to explain to her that she can cash September's cheque, because I have the money in the bank, but that after that she might not be able to. She came to the exact conclusion I did: Revenue Canada. Who else can freeze assets? He hasn't paid his taxes properly, and they've gone for their money. Zoe says he's been getting letters from them for months which he leaves lying unopened on the hall table. Because if you ignore things you don't want to deal with, they'll just go away right? Especially the Tax Man. The taxman is known for going away if you ignore him.

What is he thinking?

Which leaves me precisely where? One more thing to chat about with my lawyer. If he's renegging on his obligations, if he's about to go bankrupt, if there's a line of creditors, child support is normally way at the top of the list. I need to make sure I'm AT the top of the list - if there is documentation that needs to be filed somewhere, I'd better get at it...

How many ways can one man screw up his life? It boggles the mind.



  • Holy damn! I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.

    By Anonymous Undercover Mutha, at 9:42 p.m.  

  • That's horrible. I'm sorry. Hope you can get yourself at the top of that list...according to my husband, The Taxman, you should be a priority. Good luck.

    By Anonymous Naomi, at 8:08 a.m.  

  • What a lousy lousy time he is dragging you all through. I love your teller, she is a true soul. She gave you what you needed, and she probably felt good doing os. good luck! Get to the top of that list....

    By Blogger crazymumma, at 10:58 p.m.  

  • Mutha - thanks. I so have to force myself into this kind of conflict. At least, in this one, I won't be fighting with my ex (I hope) but merely getting the documentation in place that proves my right to a share of the takings.

    Naomi - well, that's good news. Now, if my lawyer would only RETURN MY EMAILS! Today - I call her. (Lovely woman, but slow. Like all lawyers.) Wish me luck!

    Crazymumma - I love that teller, too. I always try to get her when I'm not just making a flying visit to the machine out front. Nice woman. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 8:58 a.m.  

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