Irreverent Mama

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Happy in my relationship. Happy, and, for the last year or two, monogamous - and happy with that. We started out that way - monogamous. Then we were, for a time, happily non-monogamous. Now, by mutual consent, we are once again happily monogamous.

Tonight I was at a party, a child's party; the birthday girl was turning 13 and a lot of adults were in attendance. One fellow caught my eye, and I his. I was careful to wander away at regular intervals, mix with other people, but we kept on meeting up. Talking. Nodding and smiling and lots of eye contact. Lingering smiles. A little teasing, a little flirting, but light, light. Deliberate mention made of my partner, my kids.

Still. As the evening ended, there was a question, a possibility in the air.

My daughter decided to remain at the party with her friends. I went home on my own, staunch and decided. The right thing to do. What I wanted to do, really. Really.

I went home on my own, but part of me was just a little wistful. Part of me didn't want to go home alone.

But I'm glad I did.

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6 Comments:

  • oooohhh, to even be tempted...I have not had that feeling in a long time. I wonder?

    By Blogger crazymumma, at 3:06 PM  

  • I wonder, too, sometimes. Why, even when I'm in such a good relationship, the best of my life, this still pulls at me. Not that I feel guilty for having the feelings, mind you; having the urge is not the same as acting on it.

    I wonder, and then I tell myself - because you're alive!

    But you're alive, and yet you're not even tempted - and I know many women aren't. So what is it?

    Not the age - we're close in age, I think. Not the ages of our children, because I was the same when my kids were the age of yours. I don't think I'm wildly, highly sexed. I have times when I'm interested, times when I'm not. Is it just a mindset?

    People are fascinating, are they not?

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 7:37 PM  

  • I like that comment by irreverent mama. IT's becasuse you're alive.

    being tempted is good maybe... keeps life exciting.

    By Anonymous krista, at 6:40 PM  

  • There's nothing wrong with temptation. It's what you do with it that matters. What happens to you may or may not be within your control; how you respond always is.

    Some people flee from such a concept. Me, I embrace it.

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 9:50 AM  

  • So, AC, is it time to seek something out? Not as in infidelity! Doesn't have to be sexual at all. Just something different, some spiciness, something out of the ordinary routine? Feeling the pull of a shot of life in your life?

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 9:52 AM  

  • The pull? Lordy, I feel the pull of artwork, of running (away?). I definetely do not feel the pull or need for another physical relationship...but the pull to be 'seen' again...ya...I feel that. But...am not willing to risk what I have for something I would not be dedicated to...so complicated...all these feelings...

    By Blogger crazymumma, at 12:53 AM  

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