Oh, yes. That Reading Challenge.



I absolutely intended to post about my January books in January. I should be having a toasty February here in frosty* Ottawa, what with all those good intentions I make then completely forget.

(*Not so frosty today: three degrees and rain, rain, rain. "Is this it, mum?" my 15-year-old wanted to know. "Is spring here now?" I managed to choke out a "No, sweetie" before drowning in laughter at her dopiness sweet innocence. )

Missed intentions notwithstanding, I have been reading! I have been visiting the library! I just haven't been writing about it. Because I'm disorganized that way.

So. My January books:

The Omnivore's Dilemma -- Terrific book. It will make you reconsider how you perceive your food, and may even change what/how you eat. The first two sections are by far the more engrossing/compelling. I understand why the third section was necessary, but it dragged. Apart from the discussion of meat-eating, which was interesting, I could easily have skipped the entire thing. (In this section I primarily learned that Michael Pollan sure does like himself...) This does not detract from the value of the book, which I liked so well that I went out and bought my own copy. But it started as a library book, so that counts.

The Uncommon Reader -- The unexpected fallout of royal bookworm-ery. Funny and clever -- and short!

The Aging Brain -- Interesting subject matter, unremittingly boring book. Badly in need of a stern and unyielding editor. The man has no idea how to streamline his ideas, clearly believing that the more technical terms one crams into every paragraph, the more erudite one appears. My brain aged a solid decade just getting through the first two pretentious chapters.

Garden Spells -- Quirky and entertaining light read.

The Russian Album -- My Canadiana quota.

There were more, but I've forgotten. Oh, the shame. Still, five for the month puts me well on track toward my goal of fifty for the year.

You ever picked up a magazine in the doctor's office, only to find out someone has scribbled answers all over the "How Much Fibre Do You REALLY Need?" quiz? Or opened the newspaper in the coffee shop and found the "Top Ten Events in History" quiz all finished?

That was me.

I confess, I am a quiz addict. I love 'em. Can't leave a box unticked, an opinion unspoken. I fill out those consumer questionnaires from that Dianne woman, I answer the phone when Decima calls. I'm always willing to have some total stranger asking dopey questions tell me how well suited I am to my husband, how good my grammar is, whether I'm in the correct profession.

My favourite colour is green. That says significant things about my mothering skills, and also whether I should renovate the kitchen this year. I like chocolate, but my favourite junk food indulgences tend more to the salty and spicy; I drink beer more often than wine; I am left-handed... I am prone to criticism; I am all-forgiving; I'm a loyal friend; I'm a loner; I'm repressed; I'm a tigress in bed.

You just never know WHAT hidden truths about your psyche you could learn from these things!! Because it's all there!

Ah, quizzes. And now that we're all online, there is so much more to discover! So many more buttons to push, circles to tick, boxes to fill in!

Which is how I found out that I am an Audrey!



Who wouldn't want to be an Audrey? I even have the cheekbones!! Sure wish I had the lips...

Curious? Here's the explanation, based on TWO questions. (Only TWO! So easy!)

You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"
(Yup. When I left my first marriage, what I wanted more than anything else was peace. I found it.)

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.
(Mostly.)


How to Get Along with Me

- If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure
(Expectations are just fine. Knowing the other guy's expectations is useful for healthy communication. Just don't pressure me with them!)

- I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.
(True.)

- Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit
(Me? Fail to get to the point???)

- Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally
(Meh. I know how to meet a deadline. No nudging required.)

- Ask me questions to help me get clear
(Nope. I'm usually clear in my own mind.)

- Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
(I like compliments. I like playful flattery. I loathe obsequious, smarmy, or ham-fisted flattery. Make it clever, or just go away and stop humiliating yourself.)

- Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
(Nope. Unless I know you well, physical affection will only make me retreat. I do the social hug thing, but that's nothing to do with "opening me up to my feelings" -- feelings I'm generally pretty attuned to, thanks.)

- I like a good discussion but not a confrontation
(Absolutely! I fervently wish more people had the skill of lively, respectful discussion. Why, why, why, must we turn these things into attacks?)

- Let me know you like what I've done or said
(If you want to.)

- Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
(Who doesn't like laughing with friends? But I find lots of joy on my own.)

What I Like About Being an Audrey

- being nonjudgmental and accepting
(Mostly.)

- caring for and being concerned about others
(It's what I do for a living!)

- being able to relax and have a good time
(I'm good at relaxing. My "good times" are generally pretty low-key, but they suit me!)

- knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
(Some days I agree with this, others, I feel inept and isolated. It's probably hormones...)

- my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
(Yes.)

- my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
(Don't think so.)

- being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe
(Go with the flow, yes. Or, quietly evade the flow with no one any the wiser... One with the
universe? Not often.)

What's Hard About Being an Audrey

- being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
I am passive, and this bothers me. Do people judge me for that? Oh, well!

- being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
Yup. More lacking initiative than discipline, but yes.

- being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
When I was younger, absolutely. Now, not so much.

- being confused about what I really want
Nope. It can take me a while to reach a decision, but once I do, I don't second-guess myself.

- caring too much about what others will think of me
Nope.

- not being listened to or taken seriously
Depends on the circumstances. I don't always assume I have something worth hearing!

Audreys as Children Often

- feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
Hardly ever. My mother did a fabulous job, even while taking no shit. No mean feat, that.
- tune out a lot, especially when others argue
Never. I still have a terrible time tuning out conflict. I wish I could!
- are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
ABSOLUTELY, particularly the "denying anger" bit.

Audreys as Parents

- are supportive, kind, and warm
- are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective
Yes, on both counts, I think.

Curious to take the quiz? You can find it here. If you do (only TWO questions!), come back and let me know who YOU are!

Six things about me. Meme from John.

1. I have claustrophobia. I have trained myself so that I can manage elevators, if the trip's not too long, and I can manage the toilets on trains and planes, but caves? Can't manage 'em for love nor money. (I've tried both: a bit of naughtiness completely scuppered by a panic attack; and if even that can't get me in there, bribery can't even begin to be effective.)

2. I used to play the piano with reasonable competance. I loved Chopin's waltzes in my teens, but now find them a bit lush and overblown. Bach's preludes and fugues were my adult favourites, but, sadly, life encroached and it's been years since I've played properly.

3. Every morning, I sit in front of a SAD light for 45 minutes. It keeps me from plunging the depths in the winter. I loathe winter. Loathe it. Unfortunate, that, given where I live.

4. I used to scoff at the idea of a soulmate. If such a thing existed, most of us managed just fine without one, but I had serious reservations as to the existance of such a thing. That was my stance on the matter for years. Until I met mine.

5. Although I've been happily monogamous for some years now, I am generally ambivalent about the practicality of monogamy. I certainly don't think it's neccesary or essential.

6. I am left-handed.

Wendy has tagged me for a meme:

"List one fact, word or tidbit that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your first or middle name. You can theme it to your blog or make it general. Then tag one person for each letter of your name."

Since I've "come out", more or less, I'll use my real name.

I - Irreverent, of course. I chose this word as my blog name because I've never quite taken the status quo as my guide; I've never quite meshed with common expectations. As I mature, I've increasingly stood outside the norms -- motherhood, marriage, ambition, aspirations, morality -- with a slightly crooked grin on my face. Not that you would necessarily be aware of that at first glance. I'm a quiet type in real life. Several of my favourite memories revolve around the astonishment on someone's face when they've discovered that I've done or said or thought something that they had considered far outside my supposedly conventional, even demure, character. Heh.

L - Loyal? Probably not ... though not precisely disloyal, either. Loveable? To a select few, but not widely. Likeable? To a larger few, but I'm not awash in friends. Luscious? Sometimes I manage this spectacularly. Other times, not so much. Limpid pools, my brown eyes? Depends on who you ask. L, L, L ... I'm stuck.

O - Ontario. Though I love to travel, I've always lived in the one province. And yes, you can fit the entire UK into it five times over, supposing such a thing were possible, but still. One part of one country, my whole life long.

N -Naughty. Distinct thread in me, in which I take great pleasure. A bit of an iconoclast (could've used that for "I", couldn't I?) Occasionally biting, often mischievous, deliciously bawdy bytimes. An aspect of myself that has gained me friends and lovers, and, I suspect, lost me a friend or two. (Not, I hasten to clarify, because I mess around with friends' lovers, but because there are an astonishing number of easily-shocked people out there.)

As a young mother, I once cleared a sandbox of fluttering mummies who were complaining about their husbands' lack of sexual sensitivity, by making clear (and, I thought, relevant) reference to cunnilingus. Within moments, it was me and my toddler, alone at one end of the sandbox, and all the other mummies and their tots at the other. Pfft. Squeamish bunch. If this can send them scurrying away, no wonder their husbands are "insensitive". I roll my eyes at them ...

A - Ambitious? Nope. Avaricious? Not so's you'd notice. Amiable? I suppose, but it's being damned by faint praise, I think. NOT American: Canadian, thank you. There's a difference. Artistic? I'm a competent pianist, have played about with other instruments in my time, have a pleasant enough voice ... Auditory!

That's it. I'm auditory. Sound is important to me. Pleasant sound -- music, melody, wind, birdsong, rain, running water, the steady tap of my keyboard -- bring me pleasure; unpleasant sounds -- angry voices, excessive volume, certain electronic noises, the tick of a clock late at night -- cause me distress beyond what is reasonable. I use music to mold my mood: calming music for times of tension; powerful music for times of uncertainty; driving, rhythm-intense music to see me through a boring but necessary task.

Wendy! This was far more difficult that I thought it would be when I started. But there, it's done, and I hope I haven't bored you all to death...

From Denguy.

Four Things Meme.

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Checker on a highway construction site
2. Childbirth class instructor
3. Medical editor
4. Teacher

Four Movies I'd Watch over and over:
1. Sense and Sensibility (Oh, that Col. Brandon! Beats the snot out of brooding Mr. Darcy in the masculinity stakes.)

I loved The Shawshank Redemption, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Thelma and Louise, but they all had scenes in them that, terrific as the movies undeniably were, I could just not bear to watch over and over again.

2. OH! Late addition: Fiddler on the Roof.

Four TV shows I really like (reality version)
I hate reality TV. I watched one episode (two?) of the first Survivor, and broke out in hives. Ugh.

Four TV shows I really like (non-reality)
I don't watch TV much. This past year, I have watched...
1. 10 or so episodes of House. (Bekah is a HUGE fan.)
2. 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. (Bekah is a consistent fan.)
and ... ummm ...
3. That's it.

But if I do like Denguy, and go back a ways to when I did watch regularly:
1. Seeing Things
2. Magnum, PI
3. M*A*S*H
4. Bill Nye the Science Guy (Okay, I watched with my kids, but I'd have watched even if they didn't want to!)

Four places I've gone on vacation:
1. England
2. Scotland
3. France
4. Nova Scotia

Four Favourite Foods
Ask me tomorrow, and you'll get a different set of four. The one constant? They'd probably all be spicey and/or have lots of cheese.

1. Thai coconut curries (wet)
2. Spinach paneer
3. Black beans and rice
4. Hot and sour soup

Four Websites I visit daily
1. Work it, Mom!
2. Woulda Coulda Shoulda
3. Greavsie
4. The Daily Dish

Four Places I would Rather Be
1. Tahiti
2. Tahiti
3. Tahiti
4. Tahiti
(Tahiti is my fantasy destination. Would the reality live up to the fantasy? Oh, likely not. But since the likelihood of my actually being able to compare fantasy to reality in this lifetime is pretty nearly nil, my illusions will almost certainly remain untainted by reality.)

Four bloggers I Tag:
Do I know four bloggers? Well, actually, I know lots more, in one incarnation or another. But tagging people makes me nervous, so you can tag yourselves. If anyone cares to do this, leave a link in the comment box.

You scored as Hot, You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you. Hot 94% Soft 88% Exciting 75% Violent 44% Sweet 25% Wet 25% Awkward 6% Shy 0% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

Aw, gee. I'm blushing. (Because I'm just so shy...)

(44% Violent? Okay, so I'm not averse to a few friendly swats between lovers, but 44% seems a bit, er, enthusiastic.)

John wants to see my mantlepiece. I can see why. Mantlepieces are interesting - and can be as revealing of the person as their bookshelves. Wonder what mine says of me?


Funny, it looks a lot more spartan here than in does in real life. Perhaps because I can see the dust? (Which tells you I am not the World's Best Housekeeper.)

From left to right, you have Angel Christmas Tree topper. Yes, technically she's on a speaker, not the mantle, but close enough. I keep her out year-round because she has more than a touch of Faery in her, this angel.

Then the mantle proper: at either end, a hurricane lamp. These do get used from time to time when the power goes out. One of them has matches tucked behind it. No scrambling around in the dark for Laura. (Unless she's in the mood.)

Next from left: a card from our wedding. None of the others have been deemed worthy of preservation from the reycling bin. (No, can't say I'm particularly sentimental. Can't afford to be in this small house!) This card, though, I particularly love.

The little white square is in fact a box containing a medal my brilliant sweetie won for maintaining an A+ average during university. (His second degree, received just a few years ago.)

Centre: Our wedding picture, which is leaning up against a piece of Real Art. Which is probably not good for the Artwork, but the photograph will stay there until after I've finished painting the living room - the persnickety among you will note that I have not yet started, and you can just hush yourselves - and it can be hung properly.

And here are some items from the mantlepiece in the bedroom upstairs, because we do in fact have TWO fireplaces in this house, not that either of them work. They were sealed years and years before we bought it.

Because both fireplaces are very similar, I'm just showing you a few items from the upstair mantle.

Georgia O'Keefe. Unfortunately, not "real", like the one in the living room.
But still appropriate for a bedroom, somehow...


More lamps. :-)



A good sentiment for a marriage, no?

There. The mantlepieces in Laura's house. Care to share yours? If you post pictures, drop John a line and let us know to come look!

HA! Here I am, writing a Fun Monday post ON THE TUESDAY BEFORE.

I am so organized...

And, thanks to Beckie, it's an easy one, as well as a fun one!

What is my favourite treat? With some details. When she posts her instructions, her examples are all food, so I guess you won't be hearing about a non-edible favourite treat Matthew shared with me only an hour or two ago.

My favourite treat is Miss Vicki's potato chips, in one of two flavours: Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar, or Lime and Black Pepper.

These are the best chips bar none. The flavours are intense and authentic. Yes, I may simply be ingesting a complicated concoction of chemicals, but it TASTES like vinegar and lime and jalapeno peppers, or whatever. And the texture? Perfect. Crisp, with enough thickness to give you a satisfying CRUNCH between your teeth when you bite down. No wussy "oomph" of disintegrating starch, no! Instead, a robust explosion that renders you incapable of maintaining a conversation. "Sorry, dear, I can't hear you over the chips."

I'd provide a picture, but I don't have these things in the house. Recipe for complete caloric disaster. I'm losing weight, remember? I allow myself a small bag every couple of weeks. Which I eat outside the house.

Strangely, I can't even find a picture on the internet. So maybe I'll pop over to the 7-Eleven and be the weird woman taking pictures of the bags of chips on the shelves.

Or perhaps that would just be too, too sad...

Stolen from John.

FAVOURITE...

1: DRINK: Irish cream ales. In the summer, margaritas, Mike's hard lemonade, and sangria, though not all at once.

2: FOOD: Thai wet coconut curries.

3: FILM: Sense and Sensibility

4: BOOK: I have absolutely NO IDEA where to start. I read at a ferocious rate. Ten to twenty or more books a month, usually.

5: SPORT: Not much interested in 'em. Did watch some of the Stanley Cup playoffs, because the local team was in in, thus making it inescapable!

6:BLOGGER: Oh, goodness... That would be playing favourites.

7:MUSIC: Blues. Or chamber music. Depends on my mood.

8: BIRD: Cardinal

9: ANIMAL: For appearance? Cats, wild and domestic. Nothing as sleek, strong, and elegant as a cat. But for personality? Orangutang. (Hey! Beauty is only skin deep, you know. Orangs are smart and funny in their cumbersome way. I like 'em.)

10: HERO: John, of course.... Someone who doesn't think I'm a creep.

Bold the ones you've done..

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink (all six of them...)
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper (hundreds, I'm sure. It's not very exotic.)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne (Ugh. I hate champagne.)
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (does a job interview count as "worst possible"? I didn't get the job...)
27. Had a food fight (ah, university...)
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger (Hey, Ian A. Colquhoun of Toronto. Remember me??)
30. Had a snowball fight (dozens)
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster (barf)
35. Hit a home run (in grade two)
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer (My ex and my son are geeks...)
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced (ugh. it was not noble.)
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach (Naked. Heh)
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland (No, but I'd like to.)
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan (No, but I'd like to.)
55. Milked a cow - well, if expressing my own milk counts. Lord knows I FELT like a cow then...
56. Alphabetized your cds (yes, and my spices, too. Should I be embarrassed?)
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain. (Made love in the rain.)
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River (Where the hell is the Snake River??)
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror.
96. Raised children.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart (Apparently. I think he was exaggerating, since he was head over heels with in love with his "soulmate" two months later!)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states (If this means I've visited more foreign countries than I have US states. Which is easy, because US states are in a foreign country, for me. This thing must've been written by an American...)
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes (Saw the movie. Does that count?)
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life