Irreverent Mama

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Lovely tall, slim, handsome European dad down the street gives me a warm smile. How nice! He's new on the street, and so far, a bit reserved. Ah, well. He's probably warming to me because I've been nice to their family.

Earlier this week, you see, I invited their a three-year-old to trail about my house for a morning. I figure they could use a bit of a break, what with the move and all. She's a cheerful and chatty little thing, and, apart from her complete lack of personal space, was no trouble at all.

We did everything together, Small Girl and me. We ate, we 'coloured' (she with crayons on multi-coloured paper, me with pens on lined paper), we played on the computer (I on my laptop, she on one of those noxious talking 'educational' toys with a touch-screen, provided by mum). We listened to my music, we listened to hers. I peed, she peed. I peed in company. I'm fine with this, and I'm quite sure her mother, a died-in-the-wool Attachment Parent (yes, you actually hear the capitals when she says it) will have no problem with it, either. Besides, mum is European, and we all know how loosy-goosy sensible those people over there are about privacy and nudity and sexuality and all manner of things that give North Americans (particularly my neighbours to the south) conniptions.

So. I have my pee, and Small Girl decides she will have one, too. We wash hands and head downstairs again, well pleased with our accomplishments. Shortly thereafter, mum comes for Small Girl.

The next evening, as I sit on my porch with a relaxing beverage, mum drops by to say thanks and let me know how much Small Girl had enjoyed her time with me. And how much Small Girl had learned, too.


Oh, indeed. Mum explains. "Out of the blue, she says to me, 'Why you gots hair on your 'gina, mummy?'"

I know where we're going here. I have, after all, recently gotten married. My marital bits have been especially cleaned and tidied for the event and subsequent celebration.

"All ladies have hair there, sweetie."

"NOoooOOOo!! Laura doesn't got any hair there at all."

Ah, yes. Body hair. Another European-North American difference.

And when did this conversation occur? While Small Girl was going potty? During bathtime, generally taken with mummy? At bedtime, also taken in company of the parents? At some time when people's nether regions might reasonably be expected to come into conversation?

Noooo... at the dinner table, with two older brothers, daddy, and the lovely couple next door in attendance.

Which may explain dad's particular and unexpected warmth this morning. Ooo... am I now the exotic focus of his naughtier daydreams?

I must babysit that child more often.

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  • HAAAAAAAAAA, HAAAAAAAAAAA, I peed myself reading that! Hope you and HUBBY had fun Laura. xx.

    By Blogger john.g., at 1:58 p.m.  

  • Hilarious and so well-written. But actually, in France, loads of women have their ladypocket completely defuzzed...I wait 3 weeks for an appointment at the salon! Nothing worse than an unkempt minge.

    By Blogger Wendz, at 6:12 p.m.  

  • John - Not to worry. I take a "look, but don't touch" approach to anyone other than HUBBY. (Heh. Yes, I have a husband now. It makes absolutely no difference, and yet it makes a difference. Odd.)

    Wendz - Now you may have explained his reaction! The husband is French, you see; the wife is not. Maybe, with his newfound knowledge of my nether bits, I'm just filling him with feelings of nostalgia for home?

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 7:27 a.m.  

  • Ah-hahahaha! That's totally funny.

    Ha ha, a-hem.

    By Blogger Denguy, at 8:53 p.m.  

  • Oh my word. Priceless.

    By Blogger ieatcrayonz, at 9:23 p.m.  

  • lol lol lol

    But that reminds me of some, ahem, maintenance I must do as the summer starts! x

    By Blogger jenny, at 3:00 p.m.  

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