So, you're driving down the road with one of these on the passenger seat beside you, or worse, the whole rainbow cluster of them. Better hope you're not in Alabama, Georgia, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Indiana, or Virginia...

"No, officer, it's not a vibrator. It's my Banana Guard."

"Yeah, right. I've heard that one before. Out of the car, please, ma'am."

Vibrators illegal? Yes, indeed. Not guns. NEVER! There's a constitutional right to bear arms, you know. Because goodness knows, it's better to be able to kill someone than let them have an orgasm...

Illegal? Illegal?? This means legislators in those states (and in S. Carolina and Tennessee, where such laws are being considered) believe that, somehow or other, sex toys are a threat to society.

-- Well, yes, indeed, little lady. Think of all those innocent children have been killed by dildos!

Now, now, Mr. Misogynist Legislator, please rethink. Remember! "Dildos don't kill people; people do."