Irreverent Mama

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Conversations, Then and Now

Fifteen years ago, first husband.

Me: The doctor discovery an anomaly when I had my last physical. He wants to do a laparoscopy.

Him: What's that mean?

Me: He's going to make a small incision just below the navel, under general anaesthetic, inflate the abdomen with gas, insert an optic probe, and have a look around.

Him: So, can you get yourself home from the hospital? This is a really bad time for me at work right now.

Three weeks ago, current partner.

Me (on phone to partner, who is at work): Hey, sweetie. I just slipped and fell, and my head hit the floor really hard. I'm okay, but I just want to talk to someone for a few minutes, until I'm not quite so shaky.

Him: I'm on my way.

Even after ten years with this man, every now and then I am hit anew with the realization: My GOD, have I traded UP.


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  • A friend of mine, after an overnight stay in hospital following a nasty diagnostic procedure, told me he was going to take the bus home as his wife wouldn't take a couple of hours off work. Even as I drove to fetch him, I told myself that the marriage was doomed.

    It was.

    Glad you've struck gold this time. Hope your head is all right. Not that you struck gold with it, that was an unfortunate juxtaposition. Pfft, you know what I mean

    By Blogger Z, at 4:07 p.m.  

  • Ah, we apparently had the same first husband.

    Picture it: Eight months pregnant (with a history of miscarriages), winter, 3 1/2 year old underfoot, nearest family member 1,000 miles away, 30 minutes by car from the nearest hospital, he leaves for a conference about 3,000 miles away.. and leaves me no contact information. No phone number, no hotel name, no conference name... nada. I didn't hear from him for three days...

    You have indeed traded up. There's hope for me, too.

    By Blogger The Wrath of Dawn, at 6:52 p.m.  

  • Aw, that's a nice one.
    See--we're not all bad.

    By Blogger Denguy, at 12:03 a.m.  

  • Z - Astonishing how cruel some people can be, though they would undoubtedly never consider themselves cruel.

    Here's an irony. At one calm (very early) point during the divorce proceedings, first husband said to me - and I am sure he was quite sincere! - "I just want you to know, that if you ever need me, I'll be there."

    Snort. I thought to myself, "You weren't there when we were married. Why would you start now?"

    It's just something he thought should be said, and accorded with his (entirely erroneous) self-image.

    My head is fine, now. I think I likely had a mild concussion, though: I had a headache for about a week.

    Wrath of Dawn - Apparently he didn't want to be bothered by trivialities in the midst of his Important Conference. Or, he was just that self-absorbed that he never gave it a moment's thought.

    There's always hope! This fellow I'm now with - we worked together for a full year before I saw him in a remotely romantic way. He wasn't "my type". Except the type who attracted me, prior to him, were men of my first husband's ilk. I learned my lesson - and am very happy for it.

    Denguy - No, you're not all bad. (HA! I typed 'bed' and had to correct it - NOW who's having mental hiccups?) The trick is finding the right one for you, which probably applies when the genders are reversed just as well. There are a lot of awful women out there, too...

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 7:07 a.m.  

  • Monkeydad's first wife was similar. He had a hernia operation and she was too busy to take time off work to pick him up or stay with him at home. His elderly dad picked him up from the hospital and he was then on his own. Imagine him crawling downstairs to get some food....

    She's history.

    By Blogger Mamalooper, at 9:54 a.m.  

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