Irreverent Mama

Friday, April 28, 2006

Isn't she sweeeeet? No, you haven't stumbled onto Cute Overload by mistake. This is our newest family acquisition, a wee little dwarf hamster, as yet unnamed. Just the sweetest little puff of fluff, about the size of a walnut, is she.

What's that you ask? Why are my daughter's hands green? Well, those would be the rubber gloves. Not because she's allergic, no, no. No allergies in this family apart from a bit of hay fever. Nope. The reason she has gloves on is because this sweet little walnut-size puff of fluff is a VICIOUS little horror.

She bites. She draws blood!! If she can't get at you to bite, she does this weird boxing thing, where she stands up on her hind legs, makes a teeny little "ch!" noise and pokes her front paws at you. "Come over her, and I'll rip your face off," she dares, unaware or uncaring that we could squash her with the side of a well-placed fist. Not that we would. Eeew.

After much diligent effort, my husband, hamster-tamer extraordinaire, has managed to teach her to take a sunflower seed from his hand without trying to bite him first!!! Yes, after two weeks of daily practice sessions, the hamster has learned not to bite the hand that feeds it! Woo-hoo! We're on our way.

Well, she's learned not to bite it when there's a sunflower seed in it. Otherwise, all bets are off. Approach with Extreme Caution.

The irony here is that we bought the hamster as compensation for the budgie, who was supposed to be the girl's pet. Contrary to her hopes, though, he does not coo and hop onto her finger, but cowers in terror whenever her hand enters the cage. I love the budgie: he's pretty and his warblings delightful, which is enough to keep me happy (taking deep satisfaction in small things is a good trait in a mother!) but for Becca, he's a big disappointment.

Let me state here that we are Pet People. At the moment, we have a budgie, a cat, and a guinea pig. We have had in the past, other guinea pigs, a rabbit, gerbils, a dog, other cats, rats, and hamsters. Probably some turtles and snakes in there, too, I forget. We know pets. We know they often need time to settle in, that when frightened and disoriented in a new environment they can lash out.

But this little bitch? We're not sure whether to name her, because it's looking increasingly likely we'll be taking her back to the pet store. If they won't take her, maybe she'd like to get out of the cage so she can visit with the cat!!

So far, the suggestions for names are The Bitch (husband), Little Nipper (my daughter), and MegaDeath (son, 17).

I lean to MegaDeath, myself. Her days are numbered.

9 Comments:

  • That's it! No dwarf hamsters in our house! The end.

    Thanks for this. I'll save the link- It'll probably come in handy. :)

    By Blogger Suburban Turmoil, at 7:34 PM  

  • Names: Ann Coulter (does one have to be American to really get that?), or Sweetie-Pie (perhaps the sickeningly sweet name will confuse her into being nice?).

    By Blogger Candace, at 3:40 PM  

  • See, this is why I'm NOT a pet person. That and all the feeding, cleaning etc. I do enough of that for my 5 kids. I don't need more things to keep me busy!

    By Blogger moe, at 2:53 PM  

  • Lucinda: I thought you'd enjoy this post, despite my happy pet-friendliness. And 12's idea of letting the rodent roam free? That's just NUTS!! (This from a highly experienced Pet Person.) Nuts.

    Candace: I get it: good-looking on the surface, a bitch to the core. Very nice.

    Before her true character became apparent, we were trying out cutesy-poo names like "pipkin" and "teeny", so I don't think your second tactic would succeed...

    Moe: You don't think I do any cleaning of animals, do you? Oh, no. The g.pig is husband's responsibility; the bird and hamster are Becca's, the cat's litter tray Daniel (son). I feed the cat in the morning. And that's it.

    Because, though I love animals, they are here to teach my kids responsibility and nurturing. Builds character, and all that. With all the responsibility and nurturing the dozen* bodies in this house require of me, I have tons of character! Tons! Character I haven't even used yet.

    *two kids, five steps, six daycare

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 7:47 PM  

  • Moe: I just realised that last comment could seem like obnoxious one-up-manship: "You have five kids? Well, I have all these more!!" Not my intention, at all. In fact, given the ages of yours, I am quite, quite sure you are a much, much busier woman than me. My youngest will be 13 soon, the steps do not live with us 24/7, and the daycare kids go home and keep their parents up at night. Not the same thing as 5 under 15 at all!

    By Blogger irreverentmama, at 5:54 PM  

  • holy freaking crap. i have to say that it would only take one biting for me to stick that thing in the trash can. but then again, we're not pet people.

    By Blogger Alissa, at 9:19 PM  

  • I vote for Snack. Because that's what she's gonna be, right?

    By Blogger MsSisyphus, at 9:32 PM  

  • I think Jaws would be nice.

    By Blogger Bethany, at 2:06 PM  

  • we once were given two pets rats that were vicious creatures and we did let them go in the woods!

    we had a vicious white hamster and a pet mouse at the same time, mouse got out of his cage and into hammyy's and hammy ate him! left his back legs and tail!

    By Blogger jenny, at 3:25 PM  

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