Irreverent Mama

Saturday, March 25, 2006

There's a difference between fathers and mothers, and it isn't just in the hardware... Well, there are dozens, of course, but today I am stumbling through the hours in a vague and muddle-headed, itchy-eyed fog of exhaustion because of one of them.

Eldest Stepdaughter (16) was out last night. Supposed to be home by midnight, or call if she's unavoidably later, like her ride was delayed. (Note the child involved: STEP-daughter. Not even any direct biology involved here.)

I am sound asleep by 10:30. At fifteen minutes past midnight, I wake up. What woke me? I still have blankets over me, no door has opened or closed, the cat is sleeping in another room. No, it's the momma clock, telling me that midnight has passed and I need to make sure of the child. A quick check reveals the girl is not yet home. Damn.

Okay, I say, so she's delayed a little. No biggie. I fall into an uneasy sleep, only to pop wide awake at 1:30 a.m. Another wander to the front hall to check for shoes and jacket. She's still not home, unless she came home barefoot. Back to bed. Do I wake husband, sleeping the sleep of the Father?

I decide, oh, she's just decided to make it a sleepover, and has forgotten to call. Completely and totally within normal communication patterns for this girl. Makes it hard to know when to worry - or, rather, easy to worry unnessarily. I bury my unease and try to sleep. At 2:15, I am jolted awake by an alarming realization: She wasn't at a friend's! Well, yes she was, but earlier. Then she was going to a dance.

Where the hell is she? I wander downstairs and consider calling the friend's cell phone. Did the friend go to the dance with her? Or is the friend sleeping sound in her own bed? I churn with anxiety for another half hour.

At 2:45 I poke the husband. "She still isn't home yet."

He stirs and his voice comes muffled from under the covers. "She's having a sleepover at the friend's house."

Oh. Right. I knew that.

But you know? Even if he was expecting her home at midnight, he wouldn't have woken at fifteen minutes past. He does not have that momma clock that says, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?? ONE OF THE BABIES ISN'T IN THE NEST YET!!!"

Stupid momma clock.

2 Comments:

  • Yep, that momma clock is the same one that will wake me up in the morning if I haven't heard my children stir by 6:00.

    When they actually sleep in, I worry that something happened to one of them in the night. They're still really young, so I CAN'T WAIT until I stay up all night waiting for them to come home. After all, they're my kids. They'll make me wait.

    Yippee!

    By Blogger Andie D., at 10:28 PM  

  • ::kicks momma clock::

    By Blogger Jenorama, at 2:19 AM  

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